Giraffopia

Ridiculous Reticulation by a Preposterous Giraffe on the Edge

Twelve Great Places for a Raw Egg

I thought I would write an article that is very important to me tonight.  I call this ‘Twelve great places for a raw egg’.  I believe in giving informative advice to those that like me have the mindset to create mischief 24/7. 

The raw egg is the ultimate ‘dirty bomb’ that goes back eons.  Why do I like the hidden raw egg?  Because it take days and sometimes weeks to reach its full potential, and this gives you plenty of time to sneak off undetected.  The better you are at hiding the raw egg, the more impact it will have.

The best criteria I have come up with for hiding a raw egg is to place it somewhere that is almost invisable, yet in a public place where it will gain maximum impact from its resultant odor. 

I have composed my top twelve list, in no particular order, of great places to put a raw egg to achieve maximum impact.  Here goes:

1) Under the drivers seat on a city bus.  Shove it way up inside the stuffing from underneath.  Makes for a great fresh smell

Way up under the cushions...

on the bus several days later.

2) In the air conditioning duct work of your local office building.  I prefer the post office, but any public place works great.

3) Inside the desk leg of your bosses desk.  Whoa is that fun!

4) Anywhere you can hide it in the perfume department at a local department store.  Love it!

5) In the library in the psychiatric book section.  No one ever reads that crap, so it is fitting.

6) In the bathroom at any restaurant. 

7) Buried underneath home plate at your local baseball diamond.  The umpire will think everybody it farting today.

8 ) At any convenience store where they charge high gas prices.  I like to put mine in a box of crackers and put it on the shelf.

9) In church.  Underneath a ‘pew’.  No pun intended.

10) When you go to that appointment with the tax man, sneak one inside his computer monitor. 

11) Put one inside a stuffed bunny, and leave it somewhere where someone will take it home. 

12) Sneak one behind the shelves at the health food section of the grocery store.

Raw eggs are pure magic.  The biggest difficulty is maintaining your patience to see how long it goes undiscovered.  By all means, returning the scene to inspect as a bystander can give you away.  Trust me on that one.  I always break up in laughter, and give myself away.


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