Ridiculous Reticulation by a Preposterous Giraffe on the Edge

The Legend of the Midnight Pickle

At this time of year, where a lot the world is celebrating Christmas, or Hannukah or some other form of winter gift giving celebration, I thought I would dig up an old legend that most people have never heard of because I have completely made it up. 

The Legend of the Midnight Pickle

That legend would be: The Legend of the Midnight Pickle.  What is the legend of the ‘Midnight Pickle’ you might ask?  Well the story goes back to the days before the first stories of Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus. 

It began in a small village names Dill somewhere is some forgotten country in Europe called Prussia.  Every winter, and the last remains of the village harvest were put away into storage before the first snows, the women would cook and prep food for storage.  The men would as a group gather their weapons, and trek into the hills to hunt game for meat. 

This annual ritual would go on for a week, usually in early to mid-December.  On one such occasion, when the men were away, a stranger happened by the village towards sunset. The man had just robbed a delivery coach meant for the king, and stolen a bag of gold.  The gold was heavy, so he needed a rest.  He observed that the village was full of women, and because he had a need for some lovin’, he thought he would observe them from afar, and choose the best looking woman to sneak into her house at midnight and get some, if you know what I mean. 

So he climbed a tree, and observed the comings and goings of the village for several hours, and chose a beautiful lady for his conquest.  After dark, he waited until the final candles were extinquished, and he made his move.  He snuck in through an open window, and tip toed down a hallway towards the ladies bed chamber.  As he walked down the hallway, he noticed his feet were squishing from the mud and snow on his boots.  So he decided to take off all his clothes, and laid down his bag of gold, before charging into the bed chamber for his conquest. 

It being midnight, and the lights being out, he determined the bed chamber to be the only one with a light on at the

The origin of the Pickle?

 end of the hallway.  So naked, he snuck on down the hallway until he was just outside the door.  On the otherside of the door he heard some odd noises, and this got him excited. 

Unable to contain himself, he charged through the door and roared loudly!  To his surprise, he had charged not into a bedchamber, but the kitchen!  The lady of the house was not sleeping, but chopping vegetables from the harvest.  Surprised at the sudden noise, she spun around and swung a large cucumber while at the same time grabbed the ladle of a large pot of pea soup and slung it at the man. 

He was hit in the head with the cucumber, and drenched in boiling hot green soup! Screaming he jumped through a window and ran off naked through the village and off into the forest.  From that night on, the village women relayed the story of a large green man running naked through their village. 

Let's remember the Pickle...

Every year from there on until the end of the village’s existence, they re-inacted the green man incident and served a version of boiled cucumbers that became a village cuisine after that night.  The men had followed the man’s tracks for a few miles after returning, but never found him or his body. 

The clothes he left in the hallway were marked with a small tag for his name ‘Pickle’, and the bag of gold was more than the village had ever seen in their history, so from there after the legend of the midnight Pickle came into existence.  From then on, pickles have become world renowned, and no one remembers the mysterious naked man named Pickle.

The legend lives on...

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