Giraffopia

Ridiculous Reticulation by a Preposterous Giraffe on the Edge

Is Being Fat the New Extreme Sport for 2013?

| February 4, 2013

No one ever looks at a fat person and says ‘How athletic!’ No, they ridicule and laugh at fat people or they just stay away from them in general.  However, I as a Giraffe see it differently. Fat people are athletes.  In fact, fat is the new extreme sport!  Imagine the strength it takes in […]

My 2012 New Years Resolution to Offend

| December 30, 2011

“I have decided that my New Year’s resolution in 2012 will be simply: To Offend.  I want to offend as many people as I can.  That is my new ambition.  I will call your favorite celebrity out on the carpet and promote their flaws, and anger you.  That is what I will look for.  I […]

What You Might Have Missed About Santa

| December 17, 2011

Every year, I have the unpleasant duty of writing about the untold story of Santa Claus.  It has become my lot in life to expose Santa, possibly because I have been on the naughty list for at least 5 years running now.  The one exception was really a fluke several years ago, otherwise I am […]

Questions I Can’t Answer

| March 26, 2011

Throughout my life as a little Giraffe, I have had many an adventurous time.  However, there are many questions that I have been asked that I have no answer to.  Here is a list.  See if you can find an answer for me: “Whatever possessed you to bring dead rodents into church, and fling them over the heads […]