Giraffopia

Ridiculous Reticulation by a Preposterous Giraffe on the Edge

Let’s Examine Big Fat Butts…

You know that I have written about large butts before on the Giraffopia blog, and it is time I wrote again.  They are all around us, and they deserve recognition.  Huge butts are a distinct statement of ‘Who Cares!’ and ‘I love to eat’ which is broadcast around the world. 

If your butt is huge, do not worry. You are just part of the system. Keep eating! Just do it!

Careless?  No, I do not think so.  Look at it this way.  In America, having a fat butt is rewarded!  You get too fat?  We will give you a parking space right up front at the grocery store called a ‘handicap’ parking spot! 

You bet!  We would not want you to not eat, now would we?  It would make sense for the fat people claiming they have a handicap to be placed at the farthest location in the parking lot away from the door to inspire walking and exercise, but we are no sensible in the U.S. 

No, we want people with fat butts to continue to patronize our establishments that sell food.  Why not?  They eat three times as much as skinny people, so why not design the system to maximize their use of eating facilities and grocery stores!  I would if I was a grocer. 

Heck, I would even sell feed bags.  So having a large butt is not a stigma in America, it is a statement!  You support the

Nothing to be ashamed of really. Hugeness happens... Right? We respect you!

 food industry!  You want to see wider door ways, and motorized wheel chairs in stores!  Ever been in a grocery store and get told to get out of the way of a fat person?  I have. 

Being a little Giraffe, I am often told to get out of the way.  However, if you get in the way of a fat person and their grocery shelf, such as the cookie aisle, you better watch out!  Rudeness kicks in baby! 

I do not mind seeing people with big butts blocking the aisle at the grocery store.  To me it is a facination.  I mean, they have been hard at work at this for a long time, and because it is ‘behind them’ they tend not to notice it themselves.  We do, but what do we know?

Is there really anything to be bothered by in all this flesh and stetched fabric?  Yes, it is kind if ‘chemical’ and all.  This we hold no argument with.  Big butts are a toxic waste dump.  They are more than just points of daily releases for unwanted extras.  No, they are a toxic fluidous bag of cushion that one carries around and waits to explode like a weapon of mass destruction. 

Anyway, I hope you like this banter about big huge butts.  I am drunk as I write this, so who cares?  Big butts will long be a part of our landscape, even when I sober up in the morning.  Wear those tight jeans and spandex and bring it on big momma!  Whoo-Hoo!  We will all line up to see the big butt spectacle.  It is a secret desire that is in our nature to stare and wonder with marvel in our hearts at the glory of it all!

We will all line up to see the big butt spectacle. It is in our nature to do so. It just attracts us like flies...


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