You know we have all been told that flatulation is not acceptable in social settings. What are you expected to do when the pressure mounts? Do you really expect people to just hold it? Have you ever had the butt cheek squeeks when you are trying to hold one back? Which is more embarrassing I ask, the loud direct raspberry ricochet or the repeated squeek from compressed gas pressure? We have all been there and let’s for once admit it, everyone farts.
Okay, I said it: “Everyone Farts!” Was that so hard? I mean, yes the sound effects usually make people giggle and goggle, and some pinch their nose, but it is a part of life. I as a Giraffe have long since let loose whenever I please, and I ignore the social matrix that says it is not acceptable.
I am a free Giraffe, and I will exercise my freedom whenever and wherever it suite me. So I will fart in an elevator, in a church and even in your punch bowl if necessary to get my point across.
Not let’s talk for a minute about the silent fart. This is often called ‘Silent
But Deadly’. My take on that is that it is a sneaky fart. You know you can sneak up behind someone, drop an SBD, and scuttle away before the impact reachs their nose and awareness and recognition enter into the scene. I hate that, however, I am guilty of doing this to zookeepers. I like to see them check their shoes.
So I would ask you, are you one that believes you never flatulate? Impossible as it is? If so, you are delusionary and I feel for you.
So we have covered SBD’s, Loud reverberators, and the squeeky butt cheek farts. I am sure there are many more, but the point of this blog is to let you know that everybody farts sometime, and it is okay. Feel free to get creative, and even light a match once in awhile for entertainment. It is also okay to practice your aim, and distance as well. You never know when the skill will come in handy.