Giraffopia

Ridiculous Reticulation by a Preposterous Giraffe on the Edge

My 2012 New Years Resolution to Offend

| December 30, 2011

“I have decided that my New Year’s resolution in 2012 will be simply: To Offend.  I want to offend as many people as I can.  That is my new ambition.  I will call your favorite celebrity out on the carpet and promote their flaws, and anger you.  That is what I will look for.  I […]

Santa Pees from his Sleigh… Trust me

| December 21, 2011

You know many people do not want to confront the idea that Santa pees from his sleigh, but trust me, he does.  Is that so shocking?  Did you expect him to stop at every rest stop in every country when he needs to go, while he is delivering to 5 billion houses?  Not hardly.  He […]

What You Might Have Missed About Santa

| December 17, 2011

Every year, I have the unpleasant duty of writing about the untold story of Santa Claus.  It has become my lot in life to expose Santa, possibly because I have been on the naughty list for at least 5 years running now.  The one exception was really a fluke several years ago, otherwise I am […]

Giraffes Drink Urine Sometimes… So what?

| October 27, 2011

Giraffes drink urine sometimes… so what?  What is the big deal?  Are you so squeemish that you cannot handle it?  I meam we are sophisticated creatures, far above your ability to comprehend our superiority.  Why should I bother to explain to you that we are simply recycling?  But more than just that, we regard each […]